NAVIGATE: Airplane Etiquette 101: The All-Star Cast
There is nothing worse than boarding one of those ridiculously early morning flights only to realize that you are on the one from hell. Every flight has its cast of annoying passengers. These 5 reign supreme...
The In-Scent-Sitive
Listen, we are in a close confined space with recycled air. The last thing anyone wants to smell is your hours old, onion saturated burrito bowl...and I’m not just referring to your leftover lunch. Gentle reminder: we are all within inches of one another and the aroma of various lotions, oils and fragrances are expected. However, beans and body odor are not. Govern yourself accordingly.
The Chatty Patty
We don’t know each other. We don’t have to get to know each other. With every bit of love and respect: don’t talk to me. We’ve all at some point in our lives had to endure a serial conversationalist that can’t pick up on cues that you’d rather not be bothered. Don’t be that person. It really is okay to limit the interaction to simple pleasantries.
Life’s Little Blessings
You have not had your patience fully tested until you are on a Sunday evening flight coming from Orlando filled with the most energetic, sugar hyped kids. These are they who seemingly forgot every ounce of home training once they have boarded this plane. So now you are subjected to this sweet little angel screaming Bloody Mary at her highest octave while someone else’s precious baby - having an intense foot fight with back of your chair - has their tablet volume on the loudest setting. Now, as a childless woman, I am in no position to tell anyone how to parent their kid. However, I can confidently say that your 3-year-old losing complete control of their motor skills in the middle of this aisle isn’t ideal for any of us. You know how your offspring behaves and what keeps them occupied…please prepare.
The Nosy Neighbor
Picture this. You open your front facing camera to take your obligatory airplane selfie and you see a stranger’s full mug staring directly at your screen. It’s understandable that we are sitting close and my movements may catch your eye. However, unless you want in on this bill, there’s nothing here for you.
The Seat Rules Violator
It’s a general - yet clearly uncommon - understanding that: the window seat controls the window shade, the middle seat gets both armrests and the aisle seat can come and go as they please. It’s appreciated if, as the person in front, you don’t fully recline your seat. And for the person behind...keep your feet, especially bare, off the armrest. Seems easy to grasp, right? Apparently, no. Bottom line: Find the balance between your comfort and being someone else’s inconvenience.
Airplane Etiquette 102: The Understudies; featuring The Germ Incubator and The Mad Dasher. Coming Soon.